I'm fat and wrinkly and my paws are too big

I finally realized that if I climb up on the back of my Mommy's purple chaise lounge sofa I can see out the window. And I can see -- me! At least Mommy says so. Mommy says that wrinkly, brown-black-and-white person with long ears and droopy blood-shot eyes is ME!

She had told me I was pretty, adorable and cute NOT like that reflection I saw in the window. I was really shocked and now don't know what to do about it.

I barked and barked but that didn't change anything. The wrinkles didn't go away. I drank water, a lot of water, but my eyes are still bloodshot and droopy.

And my paws are really big!

Mommy tells me I'm pretty and so does my Daddy, but I don't believe them. Now I see I'm fat, droopy and wrinkly.

(But I do like my white stripe on my forehead and my kolh-rimmed eyes.)

When I wake up in the morning, I think....I'm fat. When I look at myself in the window, I think...I'm fat. I have resolved thusly to cut back on the delicious lamb and rice dinners. Today when Grandpa made me some dinner, I sat and looked at it, and then back at him....but he didn't seem to understand that I am fat and had to cut back. Then later when Daddy came home and made me dinner, I walked away from him and flopped back down on the couch. Couldn't they see I needed help?

I haven't eaten normally for two or three days. I must say that eating and looking for things to eat consumes most of my day so that there hasn't been a whole lot left to do.

Even a freshly laid poo in the yard just doesn't have the same appeal. Ho hum.