Rules

Mommy has all these rules for me that I have to follow. I don't like them so I try to break as many of them as possible, as often as possible. (That only makes Mommy angry, but know she loves me anyway.)

The rules:
1. I can only chew my bone on the floor, nowhere else. But sometimes I want to sit on the chaise lounge and chew it. Mommy won't let me.

When Mommy and Daddy are watching TV in the basement, I want to sit with them on the sofa and chew the bone. But Mommy won't let me.

When they are in the bathroom getting ready to go to bed, or are already in bed sleeping, I want to be with them and chew the bone. But Mommy won't let me.

She always, always shushes me back to the floor. I try to get back on the bed, but she immediately tells me to go down. I usually give in after about 4 tries.

2. Then when I'm on the porch or in the back yard, I can't bark and howl as I wish or when I wish, especially if it's already dark outside. And if I want to howl in the middle of the night (because sometimes it's really important to do that), she tells me to be quiet.

3. I can't rip toilet paper and paper towels to pieces, and that is so much fun. She also won't let me eviscerate my stuffed toys. If I can't do that, why do they keep buying them for me. To pull the white stuff out!

4. I can't hump or wrestle with the pillows. They make good opponents. They are nice and soft like stuffed toys. I bet the white stuff in them must be fun to pull out.

5. I can't steal Mommy's underwear or socks to chew on. (They smell so good.)

6. I can't steal food or lick it off the counters, nor can I get a lick or bite of food of Mommy's and Daddy's plate. That's just not fair, because their adult food looks and smells so good.

7. Then when we go for a walk, sometimes I just want to sit down and rest. I like to meditate and take in new smells. But Mommy doesn't like to stand around, so she pulls me to go on, to continue walking. And for what? Just to return home, like that's a lot of fun.

At least I've stopped chewing her shoes.