Living on the edge (in Daddy's presence)

I've been trying to be bad, bad, bad for the last few days. I'm not sure why. Maybe it's out of boredom, maybe it's because I don't think Mommy and Daddy give me enough attention, or maybe it's because I want to see how far can I push the limits.

So yesterday morning I climbed up the white stairs in the backyard. The ones I"m not supposed to go up. I wasn't going to cross the planter to go and explore the upper part of the yard (I'll do that another time. It really upsets Mommy and Daddy, and I don't know why). I just wanted to sit there. Then I thought I would jump, the long way toward the steeper part of the yard.

Daddy was in the yard with me, watching me and when he saw what I had set out to do he yelled at me. So I jumped the other way, the way it wasn't too far off the ground.

Then I pooped and went to lick it (I love my freshly pooped poop). But Daddy saw me and yelled at me again.

During the day, while I was home alone, there was nothing to do. But on the table, there a calendar with photos of puppies on it. How dare they, I thought and ripped the book apart.

And today, while I was home alone, I snuck up to the bedroom and stole Mommy's bra. I love to steal her bras. I liked it and smelled it all day long, and when Daddy returned home I knew he was going to take it away from me so I laid down on it and wouldn't move.

But then he took me to the trail and I had to acquiesce.

Bad Posa

I was bad yesterday. They left me home alone again. It was raining outside. There was just so much sleeping I could do. I knew they weren't going to come home until late, probably too late to take me for a walk.

Then I noticed a magazine on the coffee table. I resisted as long as I could. 1 minute, 2 minutes, and then I couldn't take it any more.

I pulled it off the coffee table, and ripped it to shreds. It was a clothing catalogue and I knew Mommy and Daddy wouldn't care. I've never seen them order clothes from it. Actually I overheard Mommy making fun of it and the clothes in it.

And that's what I thought of that LLBean catalogue.

Hundgarten 2

Daddy took me to the doggy park again two days ago. When we got there, I was afraid to get out of the car.

Daddy then took me out of the car, but then I was afraid to walk toward the doggy park. I eventually walked in with another dog, and all the dogs came and barked insults at me.

Then Daddy opened the big iron gate and it squeaked open. And I came running in. But all those dogs scared me so I hid behind Daddy with my tail between my legs.

A friendly collie came over and sniffed me.

I eventually began to run around.

Then all these dogs started fighting and I got scared. Then the people started fighting about the dogs. Daddy then said we had to leave.

We left the doggy park and went to walk around on the trails. When we were walking back to the car to leave, a bright silver jetta pulled up and out came Molly and Honey. Molly looked just like me! So I went back into the doggy park with Molly.

Molly looked like me but was tought. She jumped on all these other dogs and barked louder and deeper than all other dogs even though she was short like me. All the dogs were afraid of Molly.

But Molly didn't care to play with me. She didn't care that I looked just like her.

But that's OK.

I still thought that one day I could grow up to be big and tough like Molly.

Into the woods

Into the woods near our house we went today. We usually go every weekend, well almost every weekend. I don't know why Daddy and Mommy don't take me there every day. It's soo much fun. Daddy lets me off the leash and I run and spring back and forth, up the hill, and down to the creek to get my feet wet.

Mommy and Daddy let me run loose.

There are so many things to smell each time. Today, I discovered a new animal. At first it looked like a colorful green stone, but it didn't smell like a stone. It smelled like an animal. It was crawling on the ground and when I approached to sniff it, it pulled it's head and arms and legs into the green ston-y armor. Daddy said it was a turtle. I thought turtles are much bigger and live in the water. I had never seen a turtle on the ground. I wanted to snift it more and see if it would play with me, but Daddy took it away and put it further away from the path.

Then he and Mommy started walking away so, although I wanted to play with the turtle, I had to follow them because otherwise they wouldn've gotten really mad at me and start clapping their hands to make me come to them!

It's so much better than when Mommy takes me for those boring neighborhood walks.

Rules

Mommy has all these rules for me that I have to follow. I don't like them so I try to break as many of them as possible, as often as possible. (That only makes Mommy angry, but know she loves me anyway.)

The rules:
1. I can only chew my bone on the floor, nowhere else. But sometimes I want to sit on the chaise lounge and chew it. Mommy won't let me.

When Mommy and Daddy are watching TV in the basement, I want to sit with them on the sofa and chew the bone. But Mommy won't let me.

When they are in the bathroom getting ready to go to bed, or are already in bed sleeping, I want to be with them and chew the bone. But Mommy won't let me.

She always, always shushes me back to the floor. I try to get back on the bed, but she immediately tells me to go down. I usually give in after about 4 tries.

2. Then when I'm on the porch or in the back yard, I can't bark and howl as I wish or when I wish, especially if it's already dark outside. And if I want to howl in the middle of the night (because sometimes it's really important to do that), she tells me to be quiet.

3. I can't rip toilet paper and paper towels to pieces, and that is so much fun. She also won't let me eviscerate my stuffed toys. If I can't do that, why do they keep buying them for me. To pull the white stuff out!

4. I can't hump or wrestle with the pillows. They make good opponents. They are nice and soft like stuffed toys. I bet the white stuff in them must be fun to pull out.

5. I can't steal Mommy's underwear or socks to chew on. (They smell so good.)

6. I can't steal food or lick it off the counters, nor can I get a lick or bite of food of Mommy's and Daddy's plate. That's just not fair, because their adult food looks and smells so good.

7. Then when we go for a walk, sometimes I just want to sit down and rest. I like to meditate and take in new smells. But Mommy doesn't like to stand around, so she pulls me to go on, to continue walking. And for what? Just to return home, like that's a lot of fun.

At least I've stopped chewing her shoes.

Blind Date or Friend

I forgot. Last Saturday, Mommy and Daddy took me to Chesapeake Beach to meet a dog. It was so hot outside, I really didn't want to go anywhere, but I had no choice.

So this dog, he was almost all Basset, but not all. He was skinny --- they got him off some farm -- and barked a lot. And he kept bothering me. He kept walking into my space and it was too hot outside to have someone sniffing in my air and drink my water while I was drinking it!

I had never had anyone bother me. It's usually me who has to go up to other dogs to say hi. But this dog was different. He was bothering me.

And I couldn't undestand from Daddy why was I meeting him? Was he supposed to be a play mate or a blind date! Beacuse I didn't like him and didn't want to play. It was too hot and I just wanted to lay in the shade.

I don't think Mommy and Daddy liked him either. They said he was really friendly with dogs, but too skinny, and that they wish him luck!

Hundgarten

Mommy and Daddy took me on a special outing today. It was special because Grandma and Grandpa came along too. We have never all ridden in my car before. So that was special. Mommy and Grandma sat in the back so when I would put my snout on the back seat, they would turn around and pet me.

We went to some park we haven't been before. I like parks. I like the trails and sniffing around. It's so much better than the stupid neighborhood Mommy always forces me to walk through. It's always the same streets, the same smells. Boring.

There were lots of people in the park. Then there was a group of teenagers walking by a lake with a bear! He was walking along them and waving his arms. I started barking because it was weird. But Daddy tried to calm me down saying it was a person dressed as a bear. Why? Why would you do that? It makes no sense.

Then when came to this enclosed area where there were all these dogs. A dog park. Like 20, 30 dogs were there. I didn't know any of them. And they were all running around like they were knew each other well. But we went in. And Daddy let me off the leash. To play with the dogs. But I didn't know any of them and I was afraid. I was shy and embarrased.

What if they don't like me, I thought.

And there were no bassets there. Grandma, Grandpa and Mommy went to sit on the bench and I wanted to go with them but Daddy forced me to go to play with dogs. I stayed close to Daddy.

These dogs came around to sniff me. I was afraid and curled my tail all the way down! But they wouldn't leave me alone. So I stuck to Daddy but he was pushing me away to play with these dogs.

Then a funny squat dog that walked with a swagger came around to sniff me. She was my size. Daddy said it was an English Bulldog. She wanted to play. And I would've played with her, if there were no other dogs who kept coming up and scaring me.

Eventually I got a little less shy. I went up to other people to say hi. And I watched other dogs run around and play from the side.

Then everyone -- Mommy, Daddy, Grandma and Grandpa -- sat on that bench, and I went up to them to sit on the bench too, so we could all watch the dogs play, but they wouldn't let me sit with them. Instead Daddy took me back to the dogs.

I watched them play from a distance but I was too shy to join in. There were so many of them and they were all big. I was afraid to run in between them.

Maybe next time. Maybe Daddy takes me back to the park.